Fighting the Social Stigma of Persons with Intellectual Disability

Going back to my previous post on the Family Fun Day celebration of Las Pinas Montessori School, I just can't help but not comment on the students suffering from Intellectual Disability. Those with autism, mental retardation, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, aspergers, among others, were just so game in the competition. I stare in awe as they participate from one game to another. Cheering their hearts out for their teams, rooting for it to win. And their parents are ever supportive. :)

I salute LPMS for not having a separate activity for students with special needs because it cuts the barrier and does not stigmatize them. Exposing and having them interact with regular students make them feel more "normal" and would not feel like they are losers or unwanted.

Sadly, not everyone give the same love and care for persons with intellectual disability. We perceive them as abnormal people and would not want to interact with them because of a number of reasons. They're scary as they might harm you. Perhaps they will have a hard time talking to them. They don't have the patience to handle dealing with them. A number of reasons for sure.

When Nukh was diagnosed with Broad Spectrum Autism, I've heard some comments from neighbors that he is "abnormal." It broke my heart to hear those comments, especially those whom I have considered friends. While we cannot dismiss the fact that there is abnormality in his behaviour, it doesn't make him less of a person.

Nukh's heart is genuinely real. He shows you he's happy when he is happy. Sad when he is sad. Frustrated, angry, surprised, excited. You name any feeling you'll think of, and he'll honestly show you what he really feels. You'll see it in his eyes, his actuations. The challenge is to verbalize what he feels. And what difference is it for us so-called normal people. Oftentimes, when we are sad, we hide our true emotions by telling everyone we're ok. When we're hurting, we don't cry because it will be perceived as a weakness on our end. So who's the normal person now?

As with the symposium I attended at Las Pinas Montessori a few days ago, I stopped and thought of just starting my own crusade on protecting and upholding special children. I'd like to blog my way and be an advocate to hopefully lessen the social stigma that children like my Nukie experiences.

We consider our Nukie to be our lucky charm and our biggest blessing. And we will continue to do so. We love him for who he is, and will do all our best to help him cope up with the "norms" despite his condition. We're seeing a lot of improvement. But there's still a lot of work to be done.

Today, I hugged Earl, Nukh's classmate with mental retardation. He was plain happy to see me and embraced me wholeheartedly. When he finally broke the embrace (it was quite a hug I may say), I raised my hand and asked for a high five. His father was just happy I did that.

As I borrow the words of Dra. Rhoda, who was one of the speakers of the symposium, if you have nothing to say to someone who has intellectual disability, just offer a smile. It will surely come a long, long way. And knowing that you did something good would do wonders for your self, too. :)

The New Selecta Cornetto

I just want to share my experience on the latest edition of the Selecta Cornetto ice cream cone. They now have a White Chocolate variant. I was at a nearby convenience store while searching for the Cornetto flavor I wanted at that time when I stumbled upon this. Wee! Was I excited to try it out! :)

As a lover of white chocolate, this Cornetto version didn't fail my expectations. While its toppings are made of white chocolate sprinkles and melted white chocolate, the ice cream didn't come off as too sweet. If it's vanilla ice cream, then it should be the reason why it isn't too sweet. But if it is white chocolate, they did an uber great job by not exaggerating the taste. I was enjoying the ice cream so much, I just found myself at the end of the cone. And as the traditional Cornetto has a chocolate tip, this has white chocolate tip. :)

I enjoyed eating my Selecta Cornetto white chocolate ice cream cone. Hope you do too. :)

Family Fun Day at Las Pinas Montessori School

Today, I was supposed to be in a wedding for Kiss The Girl Events. However, because of mommy duties (and no one to take my place), I had to accompany Nukh to Las Pinas Montessori School's Family Fun Day celebration at Citadella Clubhouse at Casimiro, Las Pinas City.

To be honest, I was not that excited because at the back of my mind, I was worried about our wedding, with the main reason that Abby's sister passed away early this morning and Arbee is understaffed. Plus, I had babysitting duties with Audrey this morning so I was quite tired already when I went to accompany Nukh around lunchtime.

But things changed when we stepped in the clubhouse. The four teams were already together, practicing their cheer. We had to group ourselves with the Magenta/Pink team to know our cheer. And I never realized that the Family Fun Day at LPMS is so hyped. Everyone - from the teachers, students, and parents - were very competitive and excited. So my spirit woke up a bit and just enjoyed the company of other parents and my little boy.

I saw a familiar face - Cyrus Guevarra. He was a college batchmate and he was together with his wife and 3 kids. It was nice to catch up with him for a while. His eldest was part of the preschool dance group who participated in the last LAPRISA dance contest. :)

The event started with the cheering competition and we did our best. While we didn't win, our team did quite good. :) My mind was already filled with thoughts that next year, wherever my Nukie will be included, I will make sure to participate and give ideas to win more prizes haha.

Of course, after all that cheering, it made us hungry so we opted to buy some snacks. But for some reason, the prices for the snacks didn't feel right. I had to pay P45 for the quality and quantity, it was not worth it. :( The quantity was lesser than the P25 Mcdonalds regular fries. I was disappointed and I said to myself that on the next big event, I'd like to be a vendor and sell it for a cheaper price but still get a good margin. Haha.

Then came the games. We didn't emerge the champion, but we won in several games. I participated in the Tug-of-War, mommy edition. Because of teamwork and mommy power, we won! :) And soon after, our team also won the daddy edition. Then we won in the trip to Jerusalem when a surprising little girl beat the hell out of 3 big boys and raced to the lone chair to bag the prize. We were so proud of the girlie :) And lastly, we won in the Karaoke Showdown of couples. Not bad. We could have done better, but not bad. The competitive spirit in me wanted to unleash but I feel it was not the right time. YET. Haha.

Nukh joined in two games - the caterpillar race and the trip to Jerusalem. He didn't win. But he did surprisingly well. For the caterpillar race, it was the fault of the parents who were helping out that time that's why they lost. No coordination. But for the trip to Jerusalem, I was surprised to see Nukh beating other big kids as he swarmed his way to find a seat when the music stops. He was eliminated when the changed the rules and there was a racing involved. As his coordinator teachers were proud of him, I was the proudest of all. From 15 students, he remained at the top 5. :)

We felt we were lucky as we were informed before the break that there were pieces of paper stuck under the chairs. And if we got a paper and brought the condition, we get a prize. We luckily had a paper on our chair and the condition was to bring a glass of iced tea. As the excited mommy, I bought iced tea so Nukh can claim his prize.

And as champions of the tug of war, we got this as a prize. While one mommy said "After all the hirap, ito lang?" I jokingly commented, "Ok lang yan, Louis Vuitton naman e." :)

After their finale presentation number "Moves Like Jagger", we hurriedly left the venue because we were sooo hungry. No part two of the uber expensive french fries. But I did treat Nukh to a one-piece chicken with rice at McDonalds for doing a job well done. :)

Even if I was distracted while we were there at the Family Fun Day, the look in Nukh's eyes having his mommy with him at the Family Fun Day was just priceless. I will never trade it for anything in the world. :)

Note: I wanted to post pictures but my camera isn't being recognized by my PC for some reason. So I will post pics soon. Thanks for reading! :)

Dealing with Intellectual Disability

When a parent is faced with the realization that his or her child has special needs, one would have a multitude of emotions. Instant reaction is shock, sadness, anger, sometimes in denial, pain, and worry. My Nukie doesn't look like he is special. He looks like a normal boy, as you can see in this picture. But if you talk to him, observe him and spend time with him, you'll find some of his characteristics are just out of the "norm." While I am also noticing different actuations, I was still in denial that Nukh had issues that needed to be addressed. To me, he was just a boy who had slow developments and I know it would eventually be ok.

After gathering the courage and upon the recommendation of his "big school", Holy Rosary Academy during his Prep year, we transferred him to ARE Playschool, a smaller school. And we were also advised to seek the assessment of a Developmental Paediatrician. We went to Dra. Cielo Malijan. After an hour of tests, imagine the shock when I learned that Nukie has Broad Spectrum Autism. While I didn't feel really good after hearing it, I have already prepared myself for that meeting and it didn't really take a long time before I finally accepted the findings. Dra. Malijan immediately recommended for Nukh to undergo occupational therapy weekly.

After about 8 months of taking occupational therapy, we went back to Dra. Malijan for another consultation. This time, she recommended occupational therapy twice a week, and to start speech therapy as there are already signs of improvement. I won't enumerate all the changes, but I know that from the time we entered Dra. Malijan's clinic, he has significantly improved his discipline. It's not abrupt. But small, slow changes excited us and made us more inspired to push with Nukh's therapies.

After Nukh graduated at ARE Playschool, we transferred him to Las Pinas Montessori School, and yet I was faced with another sort-of "bad news". Nukh won't be accelerating to Grade school yet. He was placed in Juniors class, wherein he will be given one-on-one lessons with other SPED students. But I am very thankful this the decision of the school because I felt he really needed more attention in class. As he continued his occupational therapy and speech therapy, it was also noted that he needed behavior modification therapy.

My family is also a key player in Nukh's improvement. While I have to admit that it's really hard to be consistent, we really do our best to do our part in ensuring Nukh's improvement in education and with his behavior. Now, we can bring him to the mall without much distractions on his part. We are even able to take him to mass now. Weee! :)

According to Dra. Malijan, the findings can still change. But as it is, the team that works together to help Nukh improve works non-stop.

Like his other sisters (blame it on the genes - ahem!), Nukh is a fantastic dancer. And he can carry a tune. He's really awesome with computers and Lego blocks. He's very sweet and kind, and obedient at times. We love him dearly, and we consider him our biggest blessing and our lucky charm. :)

Welcome to my blog :)

This is the first time I am blogging as a mom, because I was really inspired with the symposium I have attended earlier on handling the social stigma of people who have intellectual disability. It made me realize that it's about time I become an advocate of disability, and at the same time, talk about how proud I am of my kids. <3

Let me tell you about my 3 kids.

Natassja Danielle N. Mariano
Tashi is my first tender care baby. Born on August 12, 1997 in Muntinlupa Medical Center, I had her when I was 20 years old. Great dancer, singer, speaker, volleyball player, and potential event coordinator haha. I really think she's my mini-me.

Neenah Yzabelle N. Mariano
Neenzy is my youngest daughter. Came into the world on December 3, 1999 at Perpetual Help Medical Center, 2 years after Tashi. Also a great dancer, singer, tennis player, and volleyball player. A lot of people say she looks like my mom. But Neenzy is our "lola" because she is more matured. But she's supposedly the more responsible one. :-)

Nukh Rafael N. Mariano
Nukh was born in November 19, 2003 at Las Pinas Doctors Medical Center. The only boy in our family - as we are two girls, and my 2 older children - so he is king of the house. He is diagnosed with Broad Spectrum Autism, but regardless, we love him very much. He's mucho handsome and English-speaking so better be ready for some nose-bleeding conversations when you go talk to him. :-)

If you notice, all of them have special name spellings. It was really what I wanted because I was kind of frustrated with having one short name. Since I named Natassja after Nastassja Kinski, I named all of them starting with the letter N, and because I started Tashi with a second name that ends is "elle", I followed suit with Neenah, and "el" for Nukh.

It's pretty difficult to raise three kids without a partner. But I have no regrets having them. They are blessings and I love them dearly. This blog will be dedicated to our life's adventures and misadventures, so I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing about them. :-)