Fighting the Social Stigma of Persons with Intellectual Disability

Going back to my previous post on the Family Fun Day celebration of Las Pinas Montessori School, I just can't help but not comment on the students suffering from Intellectual Disability. Those with autism, mental retardation, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, aspergers, among others, were just so game in the competition. I stare in awe as they participate from one game to another. Cheering their hearts out for their teams, rooting for it to win. And their parents are ever supportive. :)

I salute LPMS for not having a separate activity for students with special needs because it cuts the barrier and does not stigmatize them. Exposing and having them interact with regular students make them feel more "normal" and would not feel like they are losers or unwanted.

Sadly, not everyone give the same love and care for persons with intellectual disability. We perceive them as abnormal people and would not want to interact with them because of a number of reasons. They're scary as they might harm you. Perhaps they will have a hard time talking to them. They don't have the patience to handle dealing with them. A number of reasons for sure.

When Nukh was diagnosed with Broad Spectrum Autism, I've heard some comments from neighbors that he is "abnormal." It broke my heart to hear those comments, especially those whom I have considered friends. While we cannot dismiss the fact that there is abnormality in his behaviour, it doesn't make him less of a person.

Nukh's heart is genuinely real. He shows you he's happy when he is happy. Sad when he is sad. Frustrated, angry, surprised, excited. You name any feeling you'll think of, and he'll honestly show you what he really feels. You'll see it in his eyes, his actuations. The challenge is to verbalize what he feels. And what difference is it for us so-called normal people. Oftentimes, when we are sad, we hide our true emotions by telling everyone we're ok. When we're hurting, we don't cry because it will be perceived as a weakness on our end. So who's the normal person now?

As with the symposium I attended at Las Pinas Montessori a few days ago, I stopped and thought of just starting my own crusade on protecting and upholding special children. I'd like to blog my way and be an advocate to hopefully lessen the social stigma that children like my Nukie experiences.

We consider our Nukie to be our lucky charm and our biggest blessing. And we will continue to do so. We love him for who he is, and will do all our best to help him cope up with the "norms" despite his condition. We're seeing a lot of improvement. But there's still a lot of work to be done.

Today, I hugged Earl, Nukh's classmate with mental retardation. He was plain happy to see me and embraced me wholeheartedly. When he finally broke the embrace (it was quite a hug I may say), I raised my hand and asked for a high five. His father was just happy I did that.

As I borrow the words of Dra. Rhoda, who was one of the speakers of the symposium, if you have nothing to say to someone who has intellectual disability, just offer a smile. It will surely come a long, long way. And knowing that you did something good would do wonders for your self, too. :)

Dealing with Intellectual Disability

When a parent is faced with the realization that his or her child has special needs, one would have a multitude of emotions. Instant reaction is shock, sadness, anger, sometimes in denial, pain, and worry. My Nukie doesn't look like he is special. He looks like a normal boy, as you can see in this picture. But if you talk to him, observe him and spend time with him, you'll find some of his characteristics are just out of the "norm." While I am also noticing different actuations, I was still in denial that Nukh had issues that needed to be addressed. To me, he was just a boy who had slow developments and I know it would eventually be ok.

After gathering the courage and upon the recommendation of his "big school", Holy Rosary Academy during his Prep year, we transferred him to ARE Playschool, a smaller school. And we were also advised to seek the assessment of a Developmental Paediatrician. We went to Dra. Cielo Malijan. After an hour of tests, imagine the shock when I learned that Nukie has Broad Spectrum Autism. While I didn't feel really good after hearing it, I have already prepared myself for that meeting and it didn't really take a long time before I finally accepted the findings. Dra. Malijan immediately recommended for Nukh to undergo occupational therapy weekly.

After about 8 months of taking occupational therapy, we went back to Dra. Malijan for another consultation. This time, she recommended occupational therapy twice a week, and to start speech therapy as there are already signs of improvement. I won't enumerate all the changes, but I know that from the time we entered Dra. Malijan's clinic, he has significantly improved his discipline. It's not abrupt. But small, slow changes excited us and made us more inspired to push with Nukh's therapies.

After Nukh graduated at ARE Playschool, we transferred him to Las Pinas Montessori School, and yet I was faced with another sort-of "bad news". Nukh won't be accelerating to Grade school yet. He was placed in Juniors class, wherein he will be given one-on-one lessons with other SPED students. But I am very thankful this the decision of the school because I felt he really needed more attention in class. As he continued his occupational therapy and speech therapy, it was also noted that he needed behavior modification therapy.

My family is also a key player in Nukh's improvement. While I have to admit that it's really hard to be consistent, we really do our best to do our part in ensuring Nukh's improvement in education and with his behavior. Now, we can bring him to the mall without much distractions on his part. We are even able to take him to mass now. Weee! :)

According to Dra. Malijan, the findings can still change. But as it is, the team that works together to help Nukh improve works non-stop.

Like his other sisters (blame it on the genes - ahem!), Nukh is a fantastic dancer. And he can carry a tune. He's really awesome with computers and Lego blocks. He's very sweet and kind, and obedient at times. We love him dearly, and we consider him our biggest blessing and our lucky charm. :)